Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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