and she was petting her beer can
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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