Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
