Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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