I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
