Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
