we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
