Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
