I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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