so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
