i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
