I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
