I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
This is classic penis vs brain.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
