so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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