Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
