She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
im holly from the hills drunk
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
