You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
