Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
