I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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