i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
