Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
