how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
