She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
