I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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