i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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