well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
