shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
