All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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