so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
