i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
