some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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