i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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