Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
where are you?
Hypothermia
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize