Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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