I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
