I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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