recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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