since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
