When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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