between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He felt like a one man threesome
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The uberlube is also flammable
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
