Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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