Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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