I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
