Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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