Princesses don't give blow jobs
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
