Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
