Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
