And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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