Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I deserve this hangover.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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