My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
