4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
