i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize