Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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