Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize