If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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