so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
