I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
